Why Instant Communication Is Hurting Us

Sorry about the constant comparison between the 90s and current life, but hey, I'm a millennial and I can't help it! Before diving into what this is about, let me give you a brief introduction.

Going back to the 1990s, do you remember the day-to-day routine?

Our Routine Before And Now

Elders began the day with prayers, household chores, and a well-established routine, making life simple. The day ended with interaction with the family members, watching a favourite show on TV together, and going to sleep. There were no mobile phones or smartphones; only expensive landlines were available. So people would not misuse or abuse it like cell phones today.

Now, we start the day by looking at our smartphones, spend the day looking at them at every given opportunity, and also end the day by staring at the screens. It seems we're living life while looking at smartphones, rather than the other way around. What was supposed to be a way of easing our tasks has become an addiction that is controlling our lives the most. Add to that the algorithms, AI, and numerous other distractions, and we are prone to become a complete wreck if we do not consciously control our phone use.

Have You Noticed?

How many times have you found yourselves looking at the phone in the middle of office work or at a party, spending time with family, being with friends, talking to children, and so on? More than you have thought about it. The irony of it all is that you're spending more time chatting with friends or family online than spending quality time with those who are actually around you!

What is the problem with this?

Multiple problems, I would say.

1. Loss of Real Connection

When we choose screens over people in front of us, we lose genuine human connection. Conversations become superficial. We forget to read real emotions, body language, and tone. Over time, this weakens our bonds with family, friends, and even colleagues. The art of meaningful conversation is slowly dying.

2. Impact on Mental Health

Constant exposure to social media feeds, comparisons, and endless notifications creates stress and anxiety. We worry about likes, followers, and curated images of “perfect” lives. It leads to low self-esteem, FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), and even depression in extreme cases. Instead of relaxing, our minds are always on high alert.

3. Reduced Attention Span

We’re so used to scrolling that we can't focus on one thing for too long. Whether it’s reading, listening to someone speak, or even watching a show without checking our phones, our attention is fragmented. This impacts our ability to work deeply, learn new things, or even enjoy simple pleasures.

4. Disrupted Daily Routines

Unlike the structured, predictable routine of the 90s, today’s habits are chaotic. The phone is the first thing we see in the morning and the last at night. This disrupts sleep patterns, eating habits, and even productivity at work. Screen time late at night is known to reduce sleep quality, making us more tired and irritable.

5. Decline in Family Time

Family dinners and shared TV shows once created a sense of togetherness. Now everyone is in their own digital world, even if they’re in the same room. Parents and children barely talk about their day. Relationships lose warmth and intimacy.

6. False Sense of Productivity

We often think we're being productive - replying to emails, reading news, or making plans - but much of it is just busy work. Notifications interrupt real tasks, making us feel scattered and exhausted without achieving much.

7. Algorithm-Driven Addiction

Apps are designed to keep us hooked. Infinite scroll, tailored content, and constant alerts hijack our willpower. Without self-awareness, it's easy to lose hours mindlessly consuming content that does little to enrich our lives.

8. Reduced Outdoor and Physical Activity

Back then, children played outside, adults went for walks, and people visited each other more. Today, screen time has replaced many forms of physical and social activity, leading to sedentary lifestyles and related health problems.

In short, while technology has brought undeniable benefits, our unchecked dependence on smartphones has complicated life in unexpected ways. We risk losing the simplicity, structure, and genuine connection that defined daily life not so long ago.

What Is the Solution to This Problem?

Here are some practical ways to overcome smartphone addiction and bring balance back into our lives, just like in the good old days:

1. Practice Digital Mindfulness

The first step is awareness. Ask yourself why you're picking up the phone. Is it boredom, habit, anxiety, or actual necessity? Most of the time, we don't even realise we're scrolling mindlessly. By becoming aware of these triggers, you can interrupt the pattern. Slow down, take a breath, and ask - Do I really need to check this right now?

2. Set Boundaries for Screen Time

We set time limits for kids - why not for ourselves? Fix specific time slots during the day when you check emails or social media, instead of doing it on impulse. Use tools like Screen Time (iPhone) or Digital Wellbeing (Android) to monitor and reduce usage. Create tech-free zones, like the dining table, bedroom, or family gatherings.

3. Create a Morning and Night Routine Without Screens

Avoid reaching for your phone the moment you wake up. Instead, start the day with a simple ritual, such as morning prayers, meditation, stretching, a walk, or sipping chai quietly. Likewise, before sleeping, try reading a book, journaling, or having a calm chat with a loved one. This will help you sleep better and reduce mental clutter.

4. Schedule Family and Friend Time Without Devices

Make it a conscious practice to put away phones during family dinners, coffee catchups with friends, or even small daily conversations. Play a board game together, cook a meal, or go for a walk. These activities promote bonding and create meaningful memories, unlike those built on emojis or quick replies.

5. Embrace the Power of "Do Not Disturb"

Use the "Do Not Disturb" or “Focus” modes on your phone during deep work, rest, or personal time. It filters out unnecessary distractions. You can customise it so that only emergency contacts can reach you. This way, you're not pulled into the black hole of notifications every few minutes.

6. Curate Your Digital Diet

Be choosy about what you consume online. Unfollow pages that promote comparison, negativity, or mindless content. Instead, follow pages or creators who offer inspiration, wisdom, humour, or learning. Just like we watch what we eat, we must also monitor what we feed our minds.

7. Reintroduce Offline Hobbies

Remember what you loved doing before phones took over? Reading novels, doodling, dancing, gardening, journaling, walking, writing poems? Bring those hobbies back. Offline activities offer joy, peace, and creativity - they’re like therapy without a price tag.

8. Encourage Children to Play Outdoors

Children learn by observing adults. If we are glued to our phones, they will be too. Lead by example - go outdoors together, play physical games, encourage sports, creativity, or simply free play. These build stronger emotional and physical health than screen time ever can.

9. Take Regular Digital Detox Breaks

Go off-grid for a few hours a day or a full day every week. No social media, no news, no browsing. Instead, spend that time doing something that recharges you - go for a nature walk, connect with people, or simply take rest. These detox moments give your mind the space it craves.

10. Use Technology to Your Advantage

Not all tech is bad - it's how we use it that matters. Use apps for meditation, journaling, fitness, or learning a new skill. Video calls with distant relatives or using reminder apps to stay organised - all of this is helpful. The goal is to use tech to enhance life, not replace real living.

The Final Word

Bringing back the simplicity of the 90s may not be entirely possible, but we can definitely choose to live with more awareness and intention. Technology is a great tool, as long as we’re holding it and not the other way around.

Ultimately, it’s not about rejecting technology but about reclaiming balance. By setting mindful boundaries and choosing real connections over constant scrolling, we can enjoy the best of both worlds - the convenience of modern life and the warmth of meaningful relationships. It’s up to us to shape a lifestyle that feels truly human, grounded, and fulfilling.

Let me know if this is helpful for you, and if you want to read more related articles.