Depressed People Are Self-obsessed

Shocked? I was, too. I heard this from an online coach, and honestly, I was quite irked by it. People hold on to such assumptions and also believe them to be facts without even reading, researching or talking to the experts about the subject!

I cannot agree to disagree here because a myth is a myth, no matter how you put it! You also jeopardise the lives of others who will hold on to your myth, assume things, and not take treatment when they need it, especially when you are speaking on a public platform.

I am not a professional to comment on this, BUT since I have undergone depression, taken treatment for it, got cured, and discussed it in length with professionals, I have some authority in the field as compared to a layman. The word depressed is thrown around like peanuts everywhere, has somehow lost its meaning and is randomly used without really understanding what it means.

What is Depression?

According to the American Psychiatric Association, Depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious mental disorder that negatively affects how you feel, think, act, and perceive the world.

Some facts relating to depression in India (references below the article for proof)

I am giving you some basic information and statistics about depression before we jump to the assumptions.

• Depression is a common mental illness marked by persistent sadness and loss of interest in everyday activities.

• Symptoms affect the daily functioning of the individual.

• Common symptoms include:

  • Low energy

  • Changes in appetite and sleep

  • Anxiety and restlessness

  • Poor concentration and indecisiveness

  • Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, or hopelessness

  • Thoughts of self-harm or suicide

• Its causes include:

  • Biological factors (genes, chronic or terminal illness)

  • Psychological factors

  • Social factors (family issues, relationships, violence, disasters)

  • Cultural factors (beliefs, religion, social attitudes)

  • Economic stress

    (Note that none of these mentions obsession with the self.)

• Alcohol and drug use can make depression worse.

• Based on severity, depression can be mild, moderate, or severe.

• Effective treatments are available.

• Globally, over 300 million people were affected by depression in 2015.

• In India:

  • Nearly 15% of adults need help for mental health issues

  • 1 in 20 people suffers from depression

  • The most affected age group is 15-49 years

• Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.

• At its worst, depression can cause suicide.

• Over 8 lakh people die by suicide every year globally, making it the second leading cause of death in 15-29-year-olds.

• Treatment

  • Less than half of the people with depression in the world get proper help.

  • In many countries, fewer than 10% receive treatment.

  • Major barriers to care include:

    • Lack of medical resources

    • Shortage of trained mental health professionals

    • Social stigma around mental illness

  • Incorrect or delayed diagnosis is another big reason people don’t get proper treatment. Most people assume they can self-treat it without understanding the intensity or effects of the same. This has cost many lives in the long run.

Assumptions around Depression with Actual Truths

Assumption	The Truth
Depressed people are just overthinking	Overthinking is often a symptom of depression, not a choice. The brain under depression struggles to switch off negative loops due to chemical and emotional overload. It’s not something one can simply “control.”
Depression happens only to weak-minded people	Depression affects emotionally strong, intelligent, hardworking, and resilient people too. Just like physical illnesses don’t choose the weak, mental health conditions don’t either.
If you are smiling or functioning, you can’t be depressed	Many people become experts at hiding pain to survive daily responsibilities. High-functioning depression is real — a person may work, laugh, and still feel empty inside.
Depression means a person is ungrateful for their life	Gratitude and depression can exist together. A person may fully value their blessings yet feel emotionally numb due to a chemical imbalance, burnout, or unresolved emotional trauma.
It’s just a phase, it will pass	While some low moods pass naturally, clinical depression often needs emotional support, therapy, lifestyle changes, or medical care. Delaying help by calling it just a phase can deepen suffering.
Depressed people are self-obsessed or attention-seeking	Most people with depression actually feel like a burden and withdraw from others. Sharing pain is usually an act of vulnerability, not a bid for attention.
Having money, family, or success means no reason to be depressed	External stability does not guarantee emotional well-being. Depression can exist even in peaceful environments due to emotional neglect, hormonal issues, trauma, or chronic stress.
Depression is only sadness	Depression also shows up as fatigue, numbness, body pain, irritability, sleep problems, guilt, hopelessness, loss of concentration, and emotional disconnect - not just tears.
A person can snap out of it if they really want to	Depression alters brain chemistry and emotional processing. Willpower alone cannot correct biological and psychological imbalances - just like it can’t cure diabetes or thyroid disorders.
People with depression are always crying or hopeless	Many don’t cry at all. Some feel emotionally flat, exhausted, detached, or simply unable to feel pleasure - which can be more frightening than visible sadness.
Talking about depression means being dramatic	Speaking about mental health is often a sign of self-awareness and survival instinct. Silence increases suffering; expression opens the door to healing.
Depression only happens after major trauma	Sometimes there is no single dramatic event. Long-term stress, unresolved emotions, loneliness, hormonal shifts, parenting pressure, or life transitions can slowly shape depression.
Prayer, motivation, or positive thinking alone can fix it	These can strengthen hope and resilience, but depression often also needs structured support such as therapy, nutrition, rest, boundaries, and sometimes medication.
Once you recover, you’re cured forever	Recovery is not a straight line. Like many physical and mental health conditions, depression can recur during stressful phases. A relapse does not mean weakness - it signals a need for renewed support.
Depressed people are lazy or irresponsible	Depression reduces energy, concentration, and motivation at a neurological level. Tasks that seem simple to others may feel physically impossible to someone struggling mentally.
Medication is only for the mentally unstable	Medication is a legitimate medical tool to correct chemical imbalances when needed. Taking it is an act of responsibility, not a sign of instability.
Children, homemakers, or successful professionals don’t get depressed	Depression cuts across age, gender, roles, and social status. Emotional pain does not need a specific profile to exist.

Conclusion and My Take

There, I think the above information covers it all. If you make a random statement about depression, yes, I will take it personally, because it is not about me alone, but people I know who are still suffering or have killed themselves without getting the help they needed. All because we refuse to acknowledge that depression and other mental health issues are not trivial or assume that they are self-manageable.

If we don't identify, care for, or take treatment to cure depression and nip it in the bud, we are risking the very life of the person suffering. And no, depression does not come from choice. In that case, we would not get any other diseases, such as diabetes, hypertension, or high blood pressure, because we just need good nutrition and a healthy lifestyle, right? Wrong!

Yes, good food and exercise help physical health, but we still need a specialist to manage these. The same goes for mental health, too. And there is no shame in taking such help. I cannot help but say this -

Soch badlo, samaj aur duniya apne aap badal jayenge!

Change your thinking - the society and the world will change themselves!

Thank you for reading! Do reach out if you have any questions.

References

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression

https://www.who.int/india/health-topics/depression