Feels at Forty!

Helloooooo people!

I turn 40 by the end of December - and no, I don't feel old at all. I feel free! Yes, there are hiccups as you age - but there are benefits too! Women of all age groups - especially around 40 - you're gonna love this, so hang on!

Warning: Yes, this is looonnnng, so brace yourself!

Benefits of getting old, yeah!

1. You are more experienced and more mature.

   You are no longer the kind of girl who likes candles, flowers, and gifts. You're a fully grown woman who isn't impressed or cares about these things. If your husband gifts you even a candle now,

   * you are mentally calculating how much he spent on it

   * how you could have got a better one at a lower price, and

   * his decision was a total disaster because you don't like this smell and won't use this candle either.

I know you're nodding your head all along! <giggle> There is more to come!

2. You have the younger ones at your service now!

   You're not the one serving all the time, and you don't have to give up your seat for all the older people. Why? Because most of the time, YOU are the older person. You can ask the kids for a glass of water and for small errands. <laughter> Kids are NOT10-yr-olds for us. Anyone up to the age of even 34 is a kid for us now. Because hey, we still have seen a few years beyond you. We didn't get our greys in the sun!

   
   

3. You are so clear about your life now.

   At 18, 20, 25, you're constantly questioning yourself. What am I supposed to do? Is this right for me? Is this what I want? Can I even do this? Should I go for that instead?

   But now at 40? Hey, I have had my falls, bruises, highs, lows, a hundred experiments, successes, failures and so on. Now I am very clear about my priorities. I have a whole scale setup in my head. A certain set percentage each for family, career, social life, entertainment, quality time with spouse, kids, self-care, hobbies, bla bla bla.

   
   

4. You don't have any time to waste.

   Not a moment. You have already spent the most energetic part of your life and are probably moving downward or trying to maintain the same energy levels. Anything that wastes your energy or time cannot stay anymore. There are things to achieve within a certain time frame. And there are always a LOT of things. So you need to expend all your energy wisely. You have set schedules and things to do, not because you need to, but because you want to. If anything comes in the way of these, it gets cut off from your life automatically. You don't need time to decide here. It is just so obvious.

5. You are done impressing everyone.

   Yes, finally, the take me as I am or leave it attitude is yours! Mind you, it took a lot of hard work, guilt, self-doubt and self-abandonment to reach here. It never came easy. So you can finally enjoy the fruits of your labour and just be yourself without a care about the world.

6. You know your boundaries, you are assertive and self-aware.

   This is the decade where you stop explaining, over-explaining, or defending your choices. You say no without guilt, yes with intention, and I can’t do this anymore with dignity. You catch your emotional patterns faster. You understand your triggers. You recognise who drains you and who lifts you. You no longer offer discounts on your self-respect. If someone crosses your boundary now, they don’t even realise when they get quietly moved out of your mental space.

7. You are looking better than ever - even with depleting energy and deficiencies. Somehow, despite the calcium-iron levels dropping, the Vitamin D running away, and your body doing mystery things every other month, you still look more radiant than your younger self. The glow isn’t from skincare - it’s from self-awareness, acceptance, and emotional maturity. Yes, you may be tired more often, but you also feel more yourself than you ever have. And that shows.

8. You are on top of the world.

   There is something magical about turning 40 - not because life suddenly becomes perfect, but because you finally understand who you are. Problems still exist, responsibilities don't disappear, stress still very much exists, but nothing knocks you down the way it used to. You rise faster. You recover quicker. You understand what matters and what absolutely does not deserve your energy. And that feeling? That’s what being on top of the world actually means.

The Contradictions of Being 40

This is the age where nothing is black or white - everything exists in amusing contradictions.

Mentally, you feel young, curious, and alive. Your thoughts are sharper, your understanding deeper, and your emotional maturity stronger than ever. You feel capable, confident, and excited about life. And yet, physically, your body politely (and sometimes rudely) reminds you that a good nap can fix more problems than a motivational quote ever could.

You’re probably looking your best right now. There’s a glow, a calm confidence, a sense of self that no filter can create. But somehow, you’re also tired all the time. Not the “one good sleep will fix it” kind of tired - the deep, permanent, background tired. The kind that makes you plan your day around when you can sit down next.

You crave peace more than parties now. Loud music, crowded rooms, and forced socialising feel less exciting and more exhausting. A quiet evening, meaningful conversation, or simply being alone with your thoughts feels like a luxury. At the same time, a part of you still wants excitement - travel plans, concerts, spontaneous moments - just not at the cost of your sanity.

And then there’s the biggest contradiction of all: You want to go out, experience life, feel the thrill… but you also desperately want to be in your bed by 10. Preferably with a pillow that understands you.

This is what being 40 really feels like - balanced between enthusiasm and exhaustion, ambition and acceptance, joy and rest. And strangely, it works!

A More Reflective Turn: What 40 Has Taught Me

Turning 40 didn’t come with a dramatic revelation or a sudden personality shift. It came quietly, almost gently, but with a kind of clarity I had never experienced before. It made me realise that life isn’t about reaching some perfect version of myself - it’s about becoming more honest with who I already am.

One of the biggest realisations has been understanding how much energy I wasted earlier - on overthinking, over-giving, and over-explaining. At 40, I finally see how unnecessary most of that was. I no longer feel the need to carry everyone else’s expectations on my shoulders. I’ve learnt that I am allowed to choose myself without feeling selfish about it.

What I want to leave behind is very clear now. I want to leave behind guilt for resting. Guilt for saying no. Guilt for not fitting into boxes I was never meant to fit into. I want to leave behind relationships that drain me, conversations that go nowhere, and roles that require me to shrink. I don’t want to prove my worth anymore - I want to protect it.

My definition of happiness has changed too. Earlier, happiness looked loud - achievements, appreciation, validation, being seen. Now, happiness feels quieter and deeper. It’s peace of mind. It’s emotional safety. It’s doing work that feels meaningful, spending time with people who feel like home, and having the freedom to live at my own pace. Happiness now is not about having more - it’s about needing less.

Most importantly, my sense of self has evolved. I know my strengths, I recognise my flaws, and I am no longer at war with either. I am more assertive, more self-aware, and far more compassionate towards myself. I don’t abandon myself to keep others comfortable anymore. I show up as I am - imperfect, evolving, and grounded.

This is what turning 40 has given me - not answers to everything, but a calm confidence that I can handle whatever comes next.

Looking Ahead: What I Want from This Decade

As I step into my forties, I don’t feel the urge to rush or prove anything anymore. What I want from this decade is quieter, deeper, and far more meaningful. By the time I reach the end of my forties, I want to feel self-sufficient and genuinely fulfilled - especially in my career. I want to feel satisfied as a mother, happier with the life I am living, and proud of the person I am becoming. Most of all, I want to remain a work in progress - constantly learning, growing, and evolving, never stagnant.

Health, too, has moved higher up on my priority list - not just physical health, but mental and emotional well-being. I don’t want to merely function; I want to feel strong, balanced, and present in my own life.

The kind of life I want to build now is a careful balance between calm and fullness. I want peace without boredom, and excitement without chaos. I want days that feel meaningful, not overwhelming. What I am consciously leaving behind is pressure - the pressure to prove myself, to please everyone, to live up to invisible expectations. I no longer want a life driven by obligation or comparison. I want one shaped by intention.

Writing sits at the centre of this decade for me. It is not just something I do - it is who I am. Writing is my expression, my purpose, my way of creating impact and healing - for others and for myself. It is also, eventually, my legacy. I want my words to matter. I want them to reach people, help them feel seen, understood, and less alone. And along with this, I am learning to value my writing enough - because only when I respect my work will others truly respect it too.

This decade is not about chasing more. It is about choosing better. Building a life that feels aligned, intentional, and deeply fulfilling - one word, one choice, one experience at a time.

As I look ahead, I realise that what excites me now isn’t one single thing - it’s a blend of experiences that nourish different parts of me. I want to travel more, not just to tick places off a list, but to feel alive in new environments. I want music and concerts that remind me of who I was and who I still am. I crave quiet solo time just as much as I value meaningful conversations - the kind that stay with you long after they end. And above all, I want to keep learning and experiencing new things, because growth, for me, has always come from curiosity.

I’m no longer rigid about how these experiences should unfold. Some things deserve planning - travel, work, life in general. Others need a little spontaneity to keep the spark alive. I want a balance of both: enough structure to feel grounded, and enough flexibility to feel free.

What I am becoming more aware of, though, is how often I postpone the very things that matter most to me. I tell myself “later” when it comes to certain kinds of writing - the deeper, more demanding kind that needs emotional presence. I delay creating content for my books and my blog when I’m not in the mood, assuming the right moment will magically arrive. Turning 40 is making me question that habit. It’s reminding me that creativity doesn’t wait for perfect moods - it grows with consistency, intention, and respect.

This decade, I want to stop postponing what I care about. I want to honour my creative work the way I honour my responsibilities - by showing up, even on the ordinary days. Because the life I want to build isn’t somewhere in the future. It’s shaped by what I choose to do now.

Message to Women in Their 40s

If you’re nearing 40 or have already stepped into it, let me tell you this - it’s not the end of anything. If anything, it’s an upgrade. Not the flashy kind, but the useful one. The kind that gives you better clarity, stronger filters, and a much-needed sense of calm.

You don’t lose your youth at 40. You lose the noise. The confusion. The unnecessary pressure to be everything for everyone. What you gain instead is perspective - the ability to see what truly matters and what never did. You begin trusting yourself more. Your choices feel less shaky, your voice steadier, and your decisions less influenced by the outside world.

Life doesn’t slow down at 40 - you choose the pace now. Your 30s flew past without realising - make sure you start living for yourself in the 40s - because you will find loneliness in the next decade if you don't learn to live your yourself from today!

And yes, there will be tired days, changing bodies, and moments of self-doubt; but there will also be wisdom, confidence, humour, and a quiet strength you didn’t know you had. This decade isn’t about reinventing yourself from scratch. It’s about becoming more comfortable in your own skin.

So if you’re standing at this milestone wondering what comes next, know this: you’re not late, you’re right on time.

I no longer fear change the way I once did. I see it as growth in disguise - uncomfortable at times, but necessary. Change has shaped me, softened me, and strengthened me, all at once. Instead of resisting it, I’m learning to move with it.

Now it's all about progress - steady, meaningful progress, even if it comes in small steps. Showing up consistently. Learning continuously. Becoming a little better, a little braver, a little more aligned each day. Above all, the best chapters are still ahead. Not because life will be perfect, but because I am better equipped now - clearer, stronger, and more self-aware. I’m ready for everything that comes next.