I had started reading the book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson around six months ago. I do not know what made me prolong reading this book, but I couldn't find it as compelling when reading the first half. Then I downloaded the application Storytel to try audio books and continued with this book. And bam! It hit off quite well. I think this one sounded better in audio.
Anyway, I am not here to promote audio books tonight. It was quite interesting listening to the second half and I learnt a few lessons from it.
Do not live like you will never die
We live as if we are never going to die. Now this may sound quite cliched, but hey, wait a bit. Everyone says live everyday as if it were your last. I am not saying that here. I am saying, remember life is nothing, really. Death, when it comes, can come to anybody, any day, any way. So why are we afraid of failures, rejections, or trying? Life is nothing but a collection of moments, and living is just that, being alive. Why do we place so much emphasis on not making mistakes, always being right, always planning perfect, or being afraid of commitments, or saying no, or looking great, or being the best always?
Go out there, and do just what you want to do and just how you want to be. Everyone is unique, and there is no use trying to be someone else. I am not saying do not be inspired or idolize anybody. But don't regret not being the same! Focus on what you can do best and go ahead. People will criticize and condemn, but as long as you're true to yourself, nothing should matter.
Have boundaries and honesty in relationships
The second important lesson, be honest and have boundaries in your relationships. This holds true for any relationship in your life, not just romantic. There is no point in a relation if you cannot be honest with each other. You aren't doing justice to either person this way. Love cannot be superfluous. Just because X will feel hurt if you say he/she isn't looking good - so you lie that they look good, and just imagine they get to know - it's worse. This was just an example, but there could be bigger things. When you speak the truth, it maybe hard initially, and there maybe a few difficult moments, but that is that. You never have to be afraid of being caught! And you need not pretend, or remember to pretend.
Please don't go out with your friends, I feel insecure OR You are responsible for my failure OR You will not do so-and-so if you love me are all statements of - sorry to say - losers. A great relationship is only possible if you have your freedom, space and you can be who you are and not someone else to please your partner (or anybody - parents, siblings, friends). You don't need to be able to prove things always - and yes, you need to keep up the trust too. Again, if you're stuck to the wrong kind of people, when you know it, what is stopping you from getting out of such a relationship? Yes, it is hard, but then every great and right thing in life is hard to achieve. You need to make up your mind, and just to look good or prove to the world that you can have a solid relationship, it is not worth it to be miserable all your life. Take your decisions, know what you really want, and don't be afraid. There are some boundaries too in every relationship. Be clear about those. There are certain things we can never compromise upon, like being respected, or being able to decide for ourselves, and so on. Let no relationship dictate terms to you, or it will stifle you someday. So yes, it went on a bit too long, but you get the drift? I hope this helps you. I will share more in later posts as I discover more. Tell me what you think! Take care.