top of page

I love my India

What do we do when people go driving at 40 kmph? Make more speedbreakers!

Yes, that’s what we do. How dare they try to go beyond their limits. Do they not understand it is difficult to build smooth roads, let alone maintain them? There are highways to drive faster, and you can always cross lanes, no? If you’re wondering what are lanes, well, let’s forget all about it. If we keep speeding up, what will be the use of brake lights? It is important to be considerate towards all industries. Okay, sometimes autos or trucks or buses have faulty brake lights and you might just be at the verge of a big crash, but then mistakes do happen, no matter big or small. More than once we see people coming over from the wrong side. This is what happens when you block the traffic. So what if there is traffic ahead of you, you should give wings to your vehicle or better buy a helicopter! The scooter guy honking away to glory behind you has important work to do, nevertheless you may just be loitering around. The car driver behind the scooter has even more important work to be done. So what if he is hired as a driver for a Mercedes, it does hold huge value (the Mercedes, man!), doesn’t it? Has anyone let you drive their Mercedes, for god’s sake! I have heard that they use horns very sparingly in other developed/developing countries. How foolish and inconsiderate! Again, how will the horns breakdown if we do not use them and how will the industry survive? It is like tobacco, see? We will put the most gruesome picture on the box, but we will not stop mass production and marketing of tobacco, because, after all, industry should survive. In India, in fact, honking is a way of greeting (oops cursing) each other. Aye bhai, jaldi jaa na.  S***a beech mein khada hai na jaata hai na jaane deta hai. Isko kuch kaam dhanda nahi lagta hai. Signal laal hai to kya, ek second mein nikal jayenge, kiske paas time hai!

And so on. See the love? If not for the breaking speeds, honking horns, screeching brakes, would you even look at your driving counterparts on the road? No way! And here we are having a lot of mental (and often actual) conversations with them. No wonder someone said, Ye mera India, I love my India (Amrish Puri in Pardes; so what if he gave his daughter away to an NRI in the movie). All businesses can thrive here. From the roadside stalls to the hypermarket in the mall, from the local theatre to the multiplexes, from the cutting chaiwalas to the cool cafes, from the three BHKs to 6 by 6 feet kholis (small mud houses), all income groups, all sorts of businesses, all religions, all kinds of people, can survive in this country. Yeah, we will still spit on the roads, throw garbage out of the balcony and urinate on the roads, but when we go abroad, mera desh mahaan! Of course, foreign countries (read developed) are cleaner, more beautiful, more strict and nice to visit and we will follow all their rules. Our country – in spite of its rich culture, beauty, traditions, people, arts – is rotten in our minds, because we the people, make it so. So the next time you throw garbage anywhere, bribe that official to get your work done, bribe the traffic police, honk at your fellow traveller, break traffic rules, don't pay taxes or tell yourself itna to chalega (this is okay), remember, it is your country and it represents what you did to it. It is not the government, not the employees, not the corrupt officials, but just you. If I cannot change, how can I expect the country to change? Jai Hind!


bottom of page