• Nikita

Feminism gone all wrong

Feminism has become the "in thing." Don't get me wrong here, I call myself a feminist too. But there are different meanings as to how it is perceived by different people. What I see in my place is very distorted version of feminism. How? Women(some I mean) claim that when men can drink, why can't we? When men can smoke, why can't we? When men can sleep around, why can't we? When men can jump in a well... You get the drift? So I am just a little confused as to what are we aspiring for? Is it stooping low to the maximum extent men can, or reaching for the highs that men can? Or does it mean carrying our own bags and burdens? Or being gentlemanly (gentle womanly? So queer!)? How do we actually define it? Working late hours into the night? Or spending weekends drinking with the girl gang? 

Why are we mixing up individual ideals with gender? If I were to trade giving up on my ideals and being one on one with a man, I would choose to live with my ideals, any given day! Not to say women are any inferior, nope! I think women are generally smarter, more patient, multi taskers, great managers, more efficient & focused and emotionally stronger in the larger context. In fact, men are most attracted to smart women (I am not talking about lewd sexist men, but real, intelligent men!).  So when we talk about "equality," what we should be aspiring for is all the positives, like being the breadwinner of the family, a hard worker, putting everyone else's need in the family first, think of the family as a whole and not just about your own self, love the kids even if they are all over you after a hard day, making time for your spouse even if you're tired... The list goes on. Sounds too boring and cliched? Yes, because this is real life and not all is hunky dory. Men and women have their own roles to play and each have their own difficulties. Not that any one role is superior to the other, but gauging ourselves from the vices of the opposite gender is not the right way to go about feminism or equality. Follow the harder route and do the best of what men can do, and we can easily be shoulder to shoulder with them, not by copying or comparing with their ill behavior. In fact, we already are on par with them. As far as my thinking goes, we don't need to become men, we are best the way we are, and we need men in our lives just as they need us. So let's give some credit where it is due, and remain the ever delicate, gentle and yet strong, women. Take care.